Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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