I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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