I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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