She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
do herpes really smell.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
