Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
