Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
