In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
