I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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