Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
