i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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