perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
