Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
