I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Say something about gay babies.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
