i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
