I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I stole a fireplace last night.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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