Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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