it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
