Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize