If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
