So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
