THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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