Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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