I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
