I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
