Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
