I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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