I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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