the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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