I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
