i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
