I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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