i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Randomize