Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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