Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
sex in a hospital.. check
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
