I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
