Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
