Christians are straight up FREAKS
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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