Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
