...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize