I want to walk on stilts...naked
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
