i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
