i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My bed smells like the plague
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
