JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
