mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
