if you like me you must not know who I am
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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