I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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