12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
