Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize