I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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