Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
