this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
