You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
