According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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