Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
