You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize