I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
