you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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