You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
