Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
