oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
