hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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