i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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