The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Your penis caused this!
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
