atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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