umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm bleeding and have questions
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize