you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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