Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
