Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
