I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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