Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
