So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
