Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
