I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize