I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
