The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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