I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
