your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
